There's so much toxic masculinity out there. I grew up with the notion that the more masculine you are and the less you show emotion, the more of a man you are. — Karamo Brown
Many gay men are deeply familiar with toxic masculinity nurtured in the classroom and schoolyard. Boys who don't conform to gender norms are bullied, insulted, and physically harmed, often with little or no intervention. The words 'Boys will be boys' excuse this behavior, perpetuating toxic masculinity.
The consequences of boys will be boys were evident on social media last week. The manliness of Tim Walz’s developmentally challenged teenage son's unbridled happiness for his father was questioned as being weak and unmanly. That criticism is wrong in so many ways.
The expectation that men should suppress their emotions is detrimental to their mental health. Some in our society have reinforced the idea that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness that hinders men's ability to lead, be heard, and earn the respect of others. This stereotype dates far back to when men were seen as the protectors and providers.
Society has progressed, recognizing that men can be emotional beings while protecting and nurturing as husbands and fathers. Women are capable of leadership, authority, and protection, challenging outdated gender roles. Stereotypes based on sex and sexuality are obsolete and harmful and do not reflect the diversity of life today.
It's a harmful stereotype that gay men are overly emotional and lack the protective qualities associated with masculinity. Gay men may be more in touch with their emotions due to years of navigating societal pressures. This does not diminish their strength. True strength lies in self-awareness and resilience, protecting oneself from harmful words and actions.
Toxic masculinity is not going away. We must call out harmful behaviors associated with it. By uplifting men who express their emotions, we foster healthier compassionate individuals. Emotional intelligence is a strength, not a weakness. The LGBTQ+ community has demonstrated this by transforming their pain and adversity into resilience and personal growth.
Every Wednesday, I select a quote from my thoughts-to-keep journal. I tune out the outside world for ten minutes to reflect and write about that tidbit of wisdom.