My faith journey as a gay man (Chapter 3)
My faith journey as a gay man (Chapter 3)
My faith takes a turn after the 2007 ELCA Churchwide Assembly
In the previous chapter of my faith journey, I embraced my faith and my sexuality as a gay man in the Lutheran Church. I found Lutherans Concerned and became involved in their ministry to LGBT Lutherans. I chaired my synod’s gay and lesbian task force and was elected to represent my synod at the 2007 ELCA Churchwide Assembly. This advocacy for LGBT inclusion would take an unexpected turn when I returned from the assembly.
My return from the ELCA Churchwide Assembly
I was overwhelmed with emotions on the flight home from Chicago. Representing my synod and LGBT Lutherans at the assembly was an honor I'll never forget. That week, seventeen years ago, remains a highlight of my life as a Lutheran and my work in advocacy with Lutherans Concerned.
While the progress at the assembly wasn't what I had hoped, there was undeniable momentum. Listening to delegates from all states, I saw a promising future for LGBT ELCA Lutherans. It was nineteen years since the merger of many Lutheran denominations to form the nation’s largest Lutheran denomination. Over those years, the ELCA experienced a notable shift towards greater acceptance and equality for LGBT members.
Actions taken at the churchwide assembly
The delegates asked synods and bishops to exercise caution or refrain from disciplinary actions against individuals and congregations who support or participate in committed same-sex relationships, including rostered clergy in such relationships.
The ELCA's policy at the time prohibited the ordination of gays and lesbians in committed same-sex relationships. Despite this, some synods, bishops, and congregations defied the policy, calling gay and lesbian pastoral candidates to ministry. While disciplinary actions were taken, their enforcement varied across the denomination. This resolution urged restraint in taking these punitive measures.
The delegates requested that the Task Force for ELCA Studies on Sexuality address and develop recommendations on same-sex blessings, clergy standards, and policies that exclude practicing homosexual individuals from rostered clergy.
The assembly failed to reach a consensus on the ordination of pastors in a committed same-sex relationship and the blessing of same-sex marriages. These topics were referred to the Task Force for ELCA Studies on Sexuality. An earlier assembly had tasked the task force to develop a broader statement of the church's stance on sexuality. Their findings and recommendations are to be considered at the 2009 Churchwide Assembly.
My reflections on the actions taken
The ELCA and Lutherans are deliberate and cautious in their decision-making. I witnessed this firsthand as a lifelong Lutheran. The assembly's actions demonstrated a willingness to address LGBT issues with greater urgency and compassion.
The close votes on these issues demonstrated growing support for LGBT Lutherans. The 2009 Assembly could achieve full inclusion by having the sexuality task force address same-sex marriage and ordination within a broader sexuality statement.
Lutherans Concerned made a significant and positive impact on the assembly. Their hospitality room was a busy hub of support and affirmation. Their worship services were particularly memorable, with many clergy and bishops in attendance. The sea of rainbow scarves in the assembly hall told the story.
The Northeast Ohio Synod reacts
The response to the Church’s decisions on same-sex marriage and gay and lesbian ordination varied widely across Northeast Ohio. Churches ranged in size from small rural congregations to large urban ones, reflecting diverse perspectives on Lutheran theology and the need to address sexuality, let alone LGBT issues.
The synod was fortunate to have a bishop who was a skilled communicator and understood the importance of open dialogue with congregants. She facilitated a series of gatherings across the synod to share the Churchwide Assembly’s actions and provide a space for people to express their thoughts and concerns.
I attended an urban and rural bishop meeting. While I anticipated some disagreement, the urban discussion was supportive of the actions with some dissenting voices. The focus was on the implications of these decisions for the future of the faith and local congregations.
The rural meeting was more contentious with concerns about departing from Lutheran theology and not aligning with the values of many rural Lutherans. They also voiced concern for the future of the faith and local congregations. The differing strong views on the issues would make finding compromise challenging, if not impossible.
My faith journey takes a dramatic turn
My perspective on the Church following the Churchwide Assembly significantly impacted my faith journey. Much progress was made at the assembly. I was optimistic about the ELCA fully including LGBT people in the Church. The assembly actions affirmed the value of my involvement with Lutherans Concerned.
It was a challenging time as president of my church council. I was at odds with my pastor’s views on sexuality and the Church. Unfortunately, I was unable to bridge this divide. I decided to take a break from the church as my term as council president ended.
I stepped down from my leadership roles in the synod’s gay and lesbian task force and a Lutheran fraternal organization. In 2008 I stopped attending worship for the first time after being a faithful attendee throughout my adult life.
I needed time to reflect on my faith's role in my life. I was left with a painful, conflicting void that needed healing. Many people did not understand this. I also wasn’t sure I fully understood it.
I haven’t returned to worship in over 16 years. This decision has been a source of internal struggle. I spent most of my church life serving on church councils and committees. I dedicated 28 years to advocating for the full inclusion of LGBT people in the Church, often as a leader. This was my identity as a gay man of faith. Leaving it behind, I lost a valuable part of myself.
I thought this would be the last chapter of my faith journey. However, my life has undergone significant changes in the past sixteen years. A crucial part of my journey has been rediscovering the lost faith and defining a renewed sense of spirituality and faith. I plan to share the story of where I am, shaped by my past and strengthened by my faith.
Note on queer terminology in this post: When discussing the queer community, I use the terminology of the time. Gay and lesbian were used concerning same-sex marriage and ordination. Church policy did not exclude other queer members from marriage or ministry. In the years leading up to 2007, discussions on full inclusion moved to focus on the entire LGBT community.