I don't want shame anymore
Whizdom Wednesday: 10.30.2024
Shame is a dish best sent back to society’s kitchen. I don’t want it anymore. - Sofia Felina, Published in Deep. Sweet. Valuable.
My morning reading routine includes Medium where I find thought-provoking articles. Sofia Felina’s Shame Will Never Take This Trans Woman’s Voice Away (Member-only Story) is a candid reflection on how shame impacts queer identity. It resonated with me, prompting today's Whizdom Wednesday.
Coming out is when a queer person outwardly expresses and presents their true identity. Coming out also comes with the cost of living in a world where people we encounter may have different expectations of who we should be. It's important to stay true to yourself and not let others' words or actions undermine your newfound identity.
Shame keeps queer people closeted in many ways. It is often shame by family, classmates, and coworkers. Shame kept me in the closet for many years, something I share with many other queer people. Sofia’s story is about the shame after the closet door is closed behind us.
Her ability to refocus and put societal shame into perspective was inspiring. A conversation with a stranger reinforced that shame is a universal human experience that we must confront to live our authentic lives.
Some people want to force others into cookie-cutter molds, shaming those who dare to live outside the mold. We are in control of our emotions. Others can't shame us unless we let them. While we can't prevent hurtful words and actions, we can protect our peace of mind and self.
As a gay man, I've seen increased shaming of transgender individuals. They are being used as pawns for power and political gain in this year’s election. Those who shame do so for their benefit, oblivious to the pain they inflict. I feel for my transgender brothers and sisters at this time.
I’ll close my thoughts by sharing words Sofia perfectly chose to end her story. “Shame is a dish best sent back to the society’s kitchen. I don’t want it anymore.”